“ ”

had it been an earlier time, your car would have been your carriage

i like this feeling

i am content

you are a beautiful person

ah, but see, flailing is a sign of life

Unadulterated Brainstroms on Ambien

These were from November 2009. I should probably continue writing things down because some of this stuff is kind of really interesting. I like that reading them now, I still know what I was talking about then, even if no one else will. I love Ambien.

11/11/09 - "IDEARS.txt"

on the transfer of energy between oneself and ones surroundings. CHi, AUras, comes somnipressure, a new technology invested in sleep therapy purposes finds your best potential mate on best communal sleeping arrangements. ONE TRUE LOVE=PERFECTLY COMPLEMENTARY PILLOW???!! >>> dating service ("Refreshing the tried and true meaning of 'SLEEPING TOGETHER!'"

Criticisms/THeoryies: Is it an ultimate equilibrium or does it change and flow as people change and grow? It's like the new "forever" is really "forever for now"

"Sometimes I feel like 'I love you forever' now really means 'I love you forever, for now.'"

"No, it makes sense. I just need to think of a better way to say it"

Technology junkies.

Okay, I do this a lot. It's basically this thing I do in my head, where I run a concept by, around and around, exploring it from head to toe, like wikipedia in my head and then I come up with the search term. Like reverse google search.

Sort of like a reverse processing flow of information.

Owie, thinking all that hurts my robo heart

What if you compared evolution to data decompression like an unzipping of a file? OoOoOoo like technology and advances are unfolding. But you know how an old computer can't always handle the file it's working on and so it works harder to open it and sometimes it crashes? That's evolution. Life is God in the ultimate zip file. We are the computers and life is the file we are processing. Or something.

Lady Gaga makes me realize it's really all in how you market it.

Would you rather live without ever knowing sweet? or salty?

I love my dad!

HA HA okay. Breakie time.

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11/20/09 - "ambiennight.txt"
GREAT night

apparently involved getting loopy around 11:30, as evidenced by IMs to [person]

then decided to pull the mattress on the floor, best decision ever, slept so goood

then had a great draem involving me being a vampire and my parents handing me a gun for protection except it was the end of the world i lost my mom, met a girl, her turning into a vampire was pretty convenient though, then she died from eating an infected heart (or so i thought) then i ended up wandering around in dc trying to not get killed and not eat an infected heart.

found a stoner couple who i figured i could separate but they were nice and as it turned out i stumbled onto a vampire meeting area, made friends with the girl who's day it was to get the first kill ("glass day")

;eanred about jessica girl who went to csuci (ucsf) who's mom died but stayed with dad who hated her so she could pay rent

went to raid the houses and find people to eat

woke up

haha
hotdamn!

This dream was actually super intense. I remember feeling affected for a couple of days. Mostly about the part where I "lost" my mom and had a lot of feelings pertaining to guilt/abandonment/betrayal (me to her). Actually, thinking about it now is kind of intensely affective too.